"Oops I Did It Again"....Am I A "Touch Too Much"?

So before I set out on this journey of offloading onto all of you wonderful readers today I will just clarify the title of my blog here because it is just crazy, and this is the way this wacky yet strange and sensational inspiration often comes to me. You will find that I am quite mad :)

So the title? Well oddly enough it came to me in relation to a couple of songs that I like - totally unrelatable to this post AND to one another. And yet strangely I found that this was what I felt compelled to call it. It fits the description of what I am about to share with you so well that I couldnt pass the opportunity by to use it!**

So as I have been depicting previously on this journey here in the last couple of blogs, I find myself expressing myself on social media in an often crazy, and maybe even over the top manner. At least this is what keeps screaming in my ear, especially the last couple of days. I have found myself thinking after a post or several..hundred (LOL) was that really necessary? Aren't you going a little bit too far? People are going to think you are crazy. It is really off-putting. OMG did you really just say that? What the hell are you doing? And so my internal dialogue will drone on. I will try and quiet it for the most part. Sigh. What am I going to do about that? The other me pipes in:
well people need to accept that I am me.  The other me back again, rolling her eyes, "But arent you going just a tad overboard? And so on and so forth, until I start to get a headache. You know how it goes. If you are an overthinker like me, these are the types of thoughts we often battle with on a day to day (and often also a nightly) basis.

So last night, I decided well that is enough from me (once again). I really need to just pipe down for a while. Post less. Don't be so over the top. Calm down. Dont post as many memes. Dont make as many ridiculous comments.  Just shut up for a bit. Dont talk as much, you sound nuts. Can you see the common denominator here?? Yeah, that's right. DONT DONT DONT.
Dont do this, Dont do that...

For the last week or two I have started growing one of my groups, with the same name as this blog, Encouragement for Today. After a discussion with a couple of my close friends two weeks ago, I decided that in my two groups, the Women's group we run, and my newly growing group of this same name, that we needed to make them more personal. Somewhere that there is more interaction and not just posting of memes. Although memes are good, sometimes we might need to engage people on a more personal level if we want to grow our groups into communities and places where people can truly get to know one another and share what is on their hearts. So I embarked upon making more meaningful posts, attempting to get people to do more than just react to my memes, if I could share something of my life and things I found interesting then perhaps we could all get some real encouragement from the group, and some more personal communication.

Since doing so I have found myself posting to groups what I might only normally talk to my friends in their inboxes about. Yes I am also in groups where I do this but the point I am making is this: I was the focal point of these posts. I was the one posting them, and having to initiate the conversations and the topics for discussion. Case in point: today I posted about celebrity crushes to "encourage" people to participate. I opened up about who i thought was cute (hahaha) and the crushes that I had, even from someone that I had liked since I was a kid. What I was finding was that this was becoming a bit painful for me to expose myself in this way. Yesterday I had done something similar with a post about what we did at school, and found myself sharing about things I did, and things that had happened to me, (and I even got ratted out for a few things too - hahaha, the price of having some of my family members also in the group, not that I mind ;) )

So there I was just a little while ago feeling all vulnerable and exposed. Just last night I was thinking to myself, once again as I stated before, (after posting some silly pics of me and my daughter) wow I think i really need to cool it. I keep making myself look ridiculous. I made the decison (once again) I think that tomorrow I wont post as much. The group wont fall apart if I dont post in there for a day or two. Right? Wrong...not wrong that the group wouldnt fall apart, but...nope.

Not happening. Found myself sharing yet again and in the group, thanks to a comment on my timeline and also a friends meme. Here I was again sharing. Oversharing perhaps? Sigh. What is wrong with me??

Well the truth is, if you want people to open up you have to be open. It means exposing yourself to judgement and people not liking the way you are. It means being willing to being unliked, being open to being vulnerable and learning not to care what people think about you. The truth is, if they dont want to read what you post they dont have to. They can unfriend, unfollow or leave the group. That is why those options are there. And if they go, they arent worth it anyway. So once again I have to accept the fact that I need to continue to do me, regardless of what others think. If I want to help people I have to be willing to be unliked by some. Not everyone is going to get me, not everyone is going to agree and some are going to think that I am a "touch too much". But "oops I did it again", and i need to learn to be not sorry. Sorry not sorry.

To be continued, of that I am sure,

Jules

**Oops I did it again - Brittney Spears
     A Touch Too Much - AC/DC